Pepperidge Farm goldfish crackers are a popular item in our house. The kids love them and since we have five kids, that’s a lot of love. I also give them to whichever neighborhood kids happen to be around at feeding time. I buy three or four bags of them at a time. Currently, the Pepperidge Farm goldfish people are running a contest with lots of great prizes. Now, I’m not goofy enough to think I’ll win a trip to Hollywood as a result of buying a bag of crackers shaped like smiling fish (the odds are 1 in 10 million), however, I could win a music download. The odds of winning a music download are 1 in 4. Those are good odds. I like those odds and considering how many bags of smiling fish crackers we use I would even go so far as to say I’m guaranteed to win.
Thirteen bags down so far, no wins.
NONE. I should have won 3 times by now! So, since I am using up all the non-winning bags and making the odds better for everyone else, I did what any sane person would do. I called the Pepperidge Farm goldfish cracker people.
Pepperidge Farm goldfish person: How may I help you?
Me: I just wanted to let you know that I haven’t won any music downloads yet.
PFGP: Umm. Okay. Oh, are you referring to our Goldfish promotion?
Me: Yes. I’ve been through thirteen bags so far and I haven’t won anything.
PFGP: You’ve eaten thirteen bags?
Me: Not by myself. I give them to the kids. They love them. Anyway, thirteen bags and no winners. I just wanted to let you know that I’m messing up the odds.
PFGP: We’re glad to hear that the kids love our crackers, sir, and I don’t think you’re messing up the odds. We sell 3 billion bags a week.
(I think that’s what she said)
Me: Well, alright, but you’re probably going to have some people winning a lot and getting all excited and jumping around and I just wanted you to know who’s responsible.
PFGP: We appreciate your concern. Since you haven’t had any luck with the bags you’ve bought, can we send you a coupon and another game piece?
Me: You’ll send me a game piece? Are the odds the same, 1 in 4?
PFGP: Yes, sir, the odds are the same.
Me: Can you send me four?