I was giving our 2 year old son a bath today, when our 12 year old burst through the door to the bathroom.
“Emergency! There’s an emergency!”
I turned and gave her my full attention. “What happened?” I asked.
Our 12 year old is named Katie. Katie is a promising and aspiring writer. Every teacher she’s ever had has recognized a natural ability in her for writing. She’s written things for student publications, school newsletters and student pages in the newspaper. She writes long stories, short stories and poems that people love to read.
Katie is the worst oral storyteller, ever.
“Well, you know that house down there with the people who have these two dogs? One is named Circus. They’re both Golden Retrievers. They’re really cute.”
“Get to the point, Kate! Emergency, remember?”
“Well, they’re cute. One of the Golden Retrievers, and I think it might be Circus, got out. He’s in our yard.”
“What else?”
“He got OUT. He’s in our YARD” she repeated apparently hoping the extra emphasis would help me realize the gravity of the situation.
I’ve never really understood why or how other parents could use harsh language with or around their kids. If, however, Katie is an example of what I can expect from our other children when they are 10, 11 or 12 years old, I may begin to understand. “What’s wrong with you?” isn’t really able to encompass all the frustration and confusion that comes with dealing with a 12 year old’s “emergencies”. I figure that these types of things are the reasons they don’t let 12 year olds run CNN.
CNN Anchor: We interrupt the President’s speech now to bring you breaking news about a lost dog. We are going LIVE right now to Katie, who has been at the scene for minutes. Katie?
Katie: Thank you, Anderson. Actually, the dog is not lost. This has developed into a much more serious situation, as the dog is IN MY YARD!
Anchor: Katie! Katie! Are you ok?
Katie: Yes, I’m still here. Sources close to the dog tell me that he goes by the name of “Circus” and that he has wandered away from his home which is several houses away. I don’t know how much longer I can stay on the air with you, Anderson; I really need to go tell my dad.
And so she did, bursting into the bathroom with all the exploding panic that is usually reserved for those lucky few people who have seen meteors or nuclear missiles bearing down on them. It’s no wonder that kids and parents have such a hard time communicating sometimes. It seems that even though we are using the same words, we use and define them in completely different ways. It’s just another reason why parents look the way they do. Now, leaving a non-potty trained 2 year old in the bathtub for too long, THAT’S an emergency. I have to go now.